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  • Writer's pictureA Milf In Space

"I want to work at Target."

I've said this a few times out loud to friends: I want to work at Target. I truly do. I know that not all Targets are the same, but I love the two Targets that are close to me. They are bright, have a welcoming staff, are nicely staged, and are clean. Aisles and aisles of wonderfulness that I didn't know I needed. I usually don't drink the Kool-Aid, but I must agree: they gotta be pumping something in the air to keep us there longer, thus spending more than planned.


Seriously, where can you get a bathing suit, vegan ice cream (don't knock it till you try it), all the school supplies on the list, UNO cards, diapers, retinol, wall decor, AND an Adirondack chair?!? Maybe Aldi, but that's another conversation.


I unapologetically go there for quiet time. It's my safe place. I order all the things I need, have it delivered to my car (best thing ever), then find another parking spot and walk around the store to "see what I forgot"... it's always at least four things. Also, the Target geniuses knew exactly what they were doing when they partnered up with Starbucks. I don't even drink coffee, but I drink it there! Pro tip: you can get free refills at Target Starbucks. Yup. You're welcome.


It's such a great place to be. I imagine it to be a great place to work.


Why do I want to work at Target?

Because the stress and responsibility of an executive position sucks balls! I don't want to ask/tell anyone what to do. I don't want to be responsible for systematic improvements that make more money for the business as a whole. I don't want to have to consider the emotional and financial well-being of anyone other than me and mine. I don't want to put out fires every single day.


Someone says: "I'm a boss!"

Me: "Nice. Do you boo!"


I want to go to work with set hours. Predictable and reasonable expectations. Meet new people every day that I may or may not ever see again. Take required and schedule breaks. Engage in easy, joyful chit-chat...including a little gossip that I can enjoy and not have to fix. I want to stand on that cushioned mat, wear my red shirt, nosily take note of all the good stuff, and plan what I'll buy with my employee discount!


Question: What's stopping me from working at Target?


Answer: A bunch of bullshit.

I am not Catholic, but I love the purpose of Lent. From my very light research and basic understanding: Millions of people give something up (or try a new habit) during Lent as a sign of sacrifice and to test their self-discipline. Participants of Lent believe this action (or inaction) represents Jesus Christ's sacrifice when he went into the desert to pray and fast for 40 days before later dying on the cross. Whether or not this is your thing, few can deny the value of resetting. Pausing, taking inventory of what isn't serving you, and committing to restricting that object, habit, thing, or person of low value.


For Lent, I gave up bullshit. I gave up being indirect. I gave up acting like my feelings don't matter. I gave up making excuses for myself and others. I gave up wasting time. I gave up a scarcity mindset. I gave up limiting beliefs.


A deeper dive into why I don't currently dress in a red shirt and khaki pants:


I hesitate to work at Target because I'm afraid of what my friends will think and say about me. That's bullshit - my friends already know this is my dream job...at least temporarily.


I don't work at Target because I'm afraid of what snotty-nosed kids will say to my kids at school. "I saw your mom working at Target, haha!"

That's bullshit - kids are the worst, especially middle school kids, and everybody knows it.


I'll have to explain that I'm working at Target because I want to, not because I have to.

That's bullshit - I don't owe anyone an explanation about anything.


I'm not sure exactly when I'll work at Target, but I will. When I do, come to my checkout line,

and I'll smile, inventory all the stuff you got that I also want, and wait for you to come back next time!


How are you resetting for the new season? Did you give up anything? Start a new habit? Kick any old ones?

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