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  • Writer's pictureA Milf In Space

I'm an Introvert Who Married an Extrovert

It doesn't seem long ago, but in September of 2006, I married my husband as a child bride. I joke that I was a child bride because I was 26 and an entire fool, marrying another whole fool. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing or what we were in store for.

The Four Things We (thought) Knew:

  1. We loved each other.

  2. We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together (without understanding what time and commitment actually mean - and still don't).

  3. We had so much fun together and wanted to continue.

  4. We wanted tiny humans (not fully realizing they grow up and have opinions of their own).

Still Clueless, but Technically Adults

Almost 17yrs later, we are still going strong. Regularly we laugh with and at each other, saying, "what the hell are we doing?" and "who put us in charge of other humans?" and "how did we get here?" We have pretty much grown up together, figuring out adulthood together.

We are a strong unit. We are strong because we have been around the sun a few times, through a lot of life phases, and still choose each other. We have been through births and deaths, health and illness, feasts and famine...lots of seasons. We have grown a lot together and look forward to continuing our growth together.

Through growth, I have learned that I am significantly more introverted than my husband (don't let that sexy ass slit in my dress fool you). In our 20s, there wasn't a club we hadn't put our stamp on; Homecoming every year (shout out to HBCU homecomings); late night/early morning diner spots at 3 am. In our 30s, we traveled and visited out-of-town friends and family like they lived next door; learned the unmatched value of a day party; and hosted boatloads of kid birthday parties and playdates. Our 40s are different. At least, they are for me.

Party Animal and Homebody Sittin in a Tree

My extroverted husband would invite a long list of friends over every weekend if I let him. He is a night owl and voluntarily stays awake until midnight on weeknights. He can effortlessly entertain a crowd of people with jokes and random stories. And enjoys chatting it up with strangers.

Me personally... I prefer to visit friends a few at a time and with a bit of time in between to miss them. I unapologetically enjoy a 9:30 pm bedtime. I am usually not the person who strikes up a conversation with a stranger. And I certainly do not volunteer to hold the attention of a crowd.

To confirm what I suspected, I took a personality test on the 16Personalities website. Apparently, I have an introverted advocate personality type. I know it's not a perfect science, but dang, this personality test is good! Compared to my husband, I am aware I am an introvert. The " advocate" portion surprised me a bit, but I'll take it.

We go together because Opposites Attract

The results did make me think more about how my husband and I work so well together. Do opposites really attract? Do we balance each other out? We work amazingly well at projects together, including raising our daughters. He taught them how to ride a bicycle by refusing to give them training wheels. While I offer calming "mommy hugs" multiple times a day when I see emotions taking over their sense of logic (which is often when you have girls).

Everyone's marriage and union are very different. I suppose we are our own version of a perfect marriage. We fuss over why it is essential to load the dishwasher correctly (yes, there is a method) and when to leave a party (before the lights come on). But we laugh at the same jokes, are each other favorite dance partners, can sit silently in a room for hours and still think the other is cute.

If you want to see how our personalities compare, this is a link to see my results and take your own test: I am calm when I have a to-do list, an itinerary, and a seating chart. How about you?

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